More Late-Night Thoughts: Self-Censoring
I am going to start writing whatever I want, as if no one is actually going to read this, and see if I am able to communicate better what I think is going on in my life, what my real true feelings are. I think sometimes I get too caught up about what others reading (specially those of you that know me) think of me and what you think of my posts, and I end up not really writing about what I want.
Now that I think about it, I think that is what changed in the last few years – I am no longer writing just for myself of strangers on the internet. As I suspected, having people I know read about my feeling (some that I do not tell anyone), has kind of ruined the joy of writing for me recently.
Writing should feel freeing. It should feel like I am letting out all my feelings ‘on paper’. It should feel like my soul is waking up and being its truest self. And that is what you do not get from talking to people or letting them be part of your creative expressions. No matter what people’s intentions are, there’s always some sort of judgement when you talk through your feelings and through your life. Through your passions and fears. And I do not want to feel like someone is watching everything I am doing.
Blogging for me has always been really personal, something I didn’t want anyone finding out about. So, I think moving forward I will continue posting whatever I want without advertising it to people I know in real life – and hopefully over time they won’t be reading these, and I’ll be able to stop censoring my words (sometimes without realising it).
What is some art form that you always feel can set you free?
Oh yeah, knowing that people you know in real life are reading your less savoury bits can be a bit unnerving. I just choose to share them anyway. Great points here. Thanks for sharing!
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