Humanity is chaotic. The world around us is loud, confusing, stressful. I love people, but I hate crowds. I have social anxiety (sometimes… it’s all very subjective to my mood and/or the social situation I’m in, so talk about confusing) and being around too many people drains me physically and emotionally.
So, when I don’t want to go out or hang out with you, don’t take it personally. It’s not that I don’t want to make plans with someone, it’s just that I actually need to “recover” by myself to be able to feel good again and continue with my life as normal.
When I am hanging out with a group of people I know, I usually feel great. It’s only the next day that I feel emotionally drained. It doesn’t stop me from enjoying my time with people – only if I haven’t had time for myself in a while. If I try to make plans with someone after not having any time for myself, I will simply be down, anxious and not enjoying myself.
I’ve always loved people, so I don’t know why this recovery time is needed. But believe me, when I don’t want to/can’t make plans with someone, I’m choosing to do that so I don’t ruin both my day and your day, because I would not be good company.
Tips for someone going through the same: when I’m out in crowds, I will put on loud music on my headphones whenever possible. It helps me disconnect from the crowd and drown out the loud noises of the busy everyday life. When recovering by yourself, your first instinct might be to done absolutely nothing, lay down and watch TV all day. Sometimes that’s needed, but I feel much better if I’ve done something productive throughout the day, like working on a hobby: learning a language, drawing, writing (like right now), reading.
That’s my rant over. Do you have something you do to avoid being drained and help the recovery period, if you go through the same thing?